Throughout my paper I lack evidence and use long quotes that are a distraction to the rest of my essay. So my goal of my revision is to provide more evidence and cut down some of my quotes. The steps I plan to take to achieve this goal is to go back trough my text and write down each individual topic of each paragraph on a separate piece of paper. After having the ideas down on a piece of paper try to come up with one real life example, that is not from one of the texts we read during class. I have very good evidence from the texts but the quotes are too lengthy and are just a distraction to the rest of the text. Instead of having long quotes I can cut them down to a few words and summaries the quotes to provide more evidence or instead of cutting the quotes I could just provide a summary of the quote, to ensure I do not lose any of the evidence that the quote provides. To provide more evidence for my essay I plan to add in real life example that are not from the text. For example, my first paragraph is about how art is a ‘window’ to the past, to provide more evidence I plan on adding an example of how cave paintings are an example of this. My biggest challenge personally is going to be cutting down the quotes because they provide very good evidence but distract the reader from the thesis of my essay. If a challenge comes up that proves too difficult for me to solve on my own, I first would go to SASC the, learning center on campus, to see if they can provide me with any further help. If that does not work, I would then email professor Emerson to see if I could meet with her to talk in depth about my paper.
